okay, so i've come to realise something.
it's not me that's wrong. it's maths.
I'M COMPLETELY SERIOUS!!!! i'm not the one who doesn't understand MATHS, it's just that MATHS is actually fundamentaly STUPID. i read some of the questions and i just think.. i just think.. I JUST THINK "SURELY FUCKING NOT???"
sometimes when i'm flicking through my vomit-inducing book of practice papers i will come across a question that makes me feel certain that math is actually INANE, and WRONG, and cannot articulate it's problems properly!!! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS. a ridiculous amalgamation of pointless, unsolvable problems that ARE NOT. NEEDED.
i will never, ever EVER need to know how much money debbie has saved by using her holiday membership to pay for a meal!! i will never, ever EVER need to know how much change lucy has from her shopping trip on which she bought 5 dvds, 3 dresses and a bag (which dvds? why 5? who goes out and buys 5 dvds at a time? i've never done that. i'd like to. i would if i had enough money. lucy had 100 pounds, did you know that? so how much change does she have?) and i will never, ever EVER NEED TO FUCKING KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THE SITUATIONS WHICH HYPOTHETICAL CHILDREN NAMED IQBAL OR MANISH WHO YOU THREW IN TO ILLUSTRATE RACIAL EQUALITY FIND THEMSELVES IN!!! look, why doesn't manish just give iqbal ALL HIS MARBLES, so that i don't need to work out the percentage that he has left after they share them out???? why won't the bus just arrive on time so i don't have to calculate how long Liz waits at the bus stop if she leaves her house at 08:04???? AND WHY THE FUCK IS PAT STANDING ON WEIGHING SCALES HOLDING THREE IDENTICAL PARCELS, MAKING A TOTAL WEIGHT OF 64.3 KILOGRAMS?? HOW DOES THIS BENEFIT HIM???
holy shit. i'm going to fail.
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Y'know, the thing about maths is that although it's stupid and you really don't need to know how long Liz waits at the bus stop for, once you don't actually need to do it you find you start to use it a lot more than you should.
ReplyDeleteLike I started to use maths a lot more in silly situtations during the summer holidays - like finding the percentage of biscuits in my packet that I had left...
But maybe that's just me.... :/