the singer has a speaking voice!!

we always assumed it was utterly impossible,
but there he was, on the bus,
getting the bus like a typical human being, jabbering mindlessly into his mobile phone the same way a business man or a teenage girl might. not the way that most of us perceive mr. singer. the shuddering crouching impossiblity that is the young slightly bald (but - undeniably - potentially handsome) man who resides in bournemouth square (occasionally in other places) and just.... sings.

he literally just sits and sings.
and as i boarded the bus
(SUDDEN THOUGHT WHY THE FUCK ARE SO MANY OF MY BLOGS BASED AROUND PUBLIC TRANSPORT ALSO I NEED TO STOP HAVING SO MANY UNEXPECTED UNRELATED UNIMPORTANT THOUGHTS BECAUSE THEN THE POOR SHIFT BUTTON COULD GET A BREAK AND STOP HAVING TO SUCK UP TO KEYS 9 AND 0)
ahem as i boarded the bus
i saw him get on in front of me
jog up the steps
take a seat
because like every other human being HUMAN BEING??? he sits. on buses.
the singer sits on buses and his phone rings
and his phone did ring
and with no apparent apprehension he answered it

ANDFUCKINGHELLHESOUNDSLIKEABURLEYESSEXSTAGDOORGANISER AAAAAHH
"yeah.. yea yurite. yeaaahh wuzgood. did that uh snow patrol song. yehh went well."

oh my god the singer talking about his singing on the phone BUT HE HAS A REAL ACTUAL PROPER EXISTENT SPEAKING VOICE, the same way that gordon "the tramp" has a house...

i appreciate that this was really really terrible, i just needed to get the ball rolling
hopefully this blog has aggressively crashed through the horrible dam which has been blocking my... RIVER of inspiration recently
fucking hell
errrrghhhh im not even going to proof read it